exhaustion — stillbirth — still breathing

Speak to Me

How much longer will I be able to keep this up? How much more will be asked of me? I miss her. I miss her so much. And I cry out to my God who gave and took: Speak to me! Speak to me. Because at your command, these waters can be stilled. Your voice can calm the waters raging within (“the sea in me”).

Chaos, Losing control, Stillbirth, Stillborn, Sunrise, grief, Stillbirth Survivor, Life after loss, Missing, Trauma, Searching, Bereaved Mother, AngerEmma JamesJanuary 17, 2019grief, exhaustion, Stillbirth, AngerComment

Rituals

Every night, before bed, I would look at her picture on the mantle. Trace my thumb over the rosary beads made from her funeral flowers. And beg for it to all be different.

Stillbirth, Bereaved Mother, Love, Capture your grief, Life after loss, Say their name, grief, MissingEmma JamesOctober 5, 2018Stillbirth, Capture your grief, captureyourgrief2018, exhaustion, RitualsComment