Posts in Pregnancy after loss
Litany of Trust
Litany of Trust

From refusals and reluctances in accepting your will...

From anxiety about the future...

From resentment or excessive preoccupation with the past...

From restless self-seeking in the present moment...

From the fear of being asked to give more than I have...

From the fear of what Love demands...

Deliver me, Jesus.

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Bereaved Mother, Trauma, Stillbirth, Pregnancy after loss, grief, abuse, controlEmma Jamesconsolation, lifeafterlossblog, fighter, wounded, surrender, hope, stillbirthawareness, scars, survivor, stillbirthsurvivor, pregnancyafterloss, stillbornbutstillloved, infantlossawareness, achingheart, abusesurvivor, loss, stillbirthmatters, newsong, newblogpost, newpost, beloved, lifeafterloss, grieving, infantloss, infantlosssuppprt, Trust, healing, stillbirthsupport, suffering, ptsdrecovery, stillbirth, stillbirthswareness, newbeginnings, stillbirthblogger, lifeafterlossblogger, stillbirthbreakthesilence, life, bereavedmother, grief, transformation, trauma, woundshealComment
New Song
New Song

I am learning who I am.  And who I am is new.  And who I am needs change.  Who I am needs “a new song.” 

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abuse, Stillbirth, PTSD, grief, Trauma, control, Losing control, Pregnancy after loss, Bereaved MotherEmma Jameslifeafterlossblog, scars, trauma, bereavedmother, pregnancyafterloss, stillbirthsupport, fear, grieving, achingheart, stillbirthswareness, stillbirthbreakthesilence, newblogpost, stillbirthmatters, infantloss, stillbirthsurvivor, lifeafterlossblogger, stillbornbutstillloved, abusesurvivor, ptsdrecovery, outofcontrol, healing, newpost, love, lifeafterloss, controlling, woundsheal, losingcontrol, loss, infantlossawareness, surrender, stillbirthblogger, stillbirth, shame, survivor, fighter, wounded, abuse, lament, grief, infantlosssuppprt, hope, stillbirthawareness, stillborn, sufferingComment
Beloved
Beloved

While I was in labor for you, I was told that your vocation is LOVE.  My beloved, I also believe that your vocation is to stir others to love more deeply, more simply, more greatly, and without cost. To love without reserve or condition. To reach out to the broken-hearted and hurting.  To love people where they are and just sit with them in their mess. Their brokenness. Their hurt.  Your love is moving mountains. Your love is moving me.  Your love is changing me.  Your love is teaching me to receive love. To allow myself to be loved. 

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Pregnancy after loss, Stillbirth, grief, Bereaved MotherEmma Jamesgrief, trauma, stillbirthawareness, grieving, thankful, stillbirth, stillborn, stilborn, lament, stillbirthmatters, bereavedmother, lifeafterlossblog, newlife, loss, surrender, stillbornstillloved, survivor, healing, pregnancyafterloss, newblogpost, achingheart, woundsheal, infantlossawareness, suffering, stillbirthsupport, lifeafterlossblogger, stillbirthsurvivor, newpost, stillbornbutstillloved, lifeafterloss, hope, infantloss, gratitude, stillbirthbreakthesilence, infantlosssuppprt, stillbirthbloggerComment
A Dwelling Place
A Dwelling Place

I went to the chapel one night, in the throes of my grief.  Visceral memories of her delivery and remembering how I let God into the pain that day entered into my mind and heart.  I felt the pain again.  All of it.  Physical, mental, spiritual, and emotional. 

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Stillbirth, grief, abuse, Bereaved Mother, Pregnancy after loss, control, ShameEmma Jamesfear, thankful, surrender, stillbirth, lifeafterloss, trauma, lifeafterlossblog, controlling, loss, running, grief, hope, survivor, healing, bereavedmother, anniversary, pregnancyafterloss, lifeafterlossblogger, gratitude, shame, suffering, newblogpost, achingheart, transformationComment
Ambushed
Ambushed

Last week I was ambushed.  Under attack.  And I couldn’t escape it.  Couldn’t find my way out. 

My enemy was myself.

My mind.  My thoughts.  My fears.  My anxiety.  I made myself a prisoner.  A slave to irrational behavior, motives, and beliefs.

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Stillbirth, Shame, Pregnancy after loss, Bereaved Mother, Losing control, PTSD, grief, TraumaEmma Jamesshame, newpost, lifeafterlossblogger, infantloss, lifeafterloss, fear, grief, losingcontrol, bereavedmother, stillbirthsurvivor, pregnancyafterloss, newblogpost, suffering, lifeafterlossblog, stillbirthawarenessComment