Feeling vs. Wanting

“O soul, steeped in darkness, do not despair. All is not yet lost.  Come and confide in your God, Who is Love and Mercy.”  (St. Faustina)

I feel broken and discarded, because I can’t be fixed.

I feel unwanted, because I do not know what I want.

I feel abandoned and lonely, because this is a path untraveled by many I know.

I feel isolated, because my grief and anxiety are paralyzing.

I feel anxious and restless, because hope does not lie on the horizon.

I feel lost and confused, because I have no answers. 

I feel misunderstood, because no one understands.

I feel trapped, because my mind imprisons me.

I feel out of control, because I can’t control anything.

I feel exhausted, because I’m trying to fight...breathe...survive.

I feel a loss of identity, because I don’t know who I am in the midst of life and loss.

I feel insecure and vulnerable, because nothing is secure...safe...guaranteed.

So many feelings.  So many emotions.  Just.  So.  Much.

Sad

Scared

Longing

Impatient

Wondering

Sorrowful

Debilitated

Frustrated

Grieving

Joyless

Crippled

Hungering

Yearning

Waiting

Baffled

Clinging

Desperate

Dreaming

Fearful

Gaping

Seeking

Running

Comparing

Aware

Reclusive

Denying

Changing

Needing

Failing

Waning

Taking

Wishing

Bleeding

Begging

Pleading

Beckoning

Hiding

Motionless

Analyzing

Deciding

Obsessing

Learning

Angry

Remembering

Desiring

Aching

Wounded

Trembling

Jealous

Envious

Silent

Trapped

Processing

Debating

Paranoid

Hesitant

Reliving

...All of these feelings.  I just want a break from them. 

LORD, HAVE MERCY.